Okay, so work is slightly better and I am absolutely done bitching about it for right now. Man, that’s got to be boring to have to read all those “I hate my job” posts. Please skip them.
So, today’s topic! For complaining! No, seriously. I’ve been reading more and more body image/body acceptance type blogs lately (there are also tons I’ve stopped by and never bookmarked, so I can’t link them here), and the more I read, the more I start thinking about my own body. First, why am I so mean to it? It never did anything to me. Hell, it managed to get me through 13 or so hours of labor, it managed to nourish my son for 21 months – just that alone should be enough to give it a break. Today, I came across this game (go here, click on “projects”, and you’ll see it). I figured, what the hell, tried it and didn’t really like it (Yes, so I do play a lot of online games. And? It’s the dork in me.), so I moved on. But I keep coming back to the sentiment of the game – if you are thin, you are lacking.
Of course this is the opposite of what society tends to portray women, so I felt like I should be pleased by it, like it should be a step in the right direction… only it’s not. It’s not a game about “loving your body”. It’s just another example of how women tear ourselves and each other down every chance we get. First we couldn’t be fat, now we can’t be thin? It’s becoming more and more socially acceptable to commiserate with other fat women and tear down thin women. I remember being sort of horrified by the ruckus on this post at the Big Fat Deal blog, which started over at MamaPop and sort of took over a few places for a little while. I can understand that people were upset, because of course Mandy Moore isn’t chubby, and even if she was she’d still be hot. But all these people up in arms about the post? Are the people who are ragging on Posh Spice for being too thin, or freaking out about Angelina Jolie’s arms. (Full disclosure- I am probably one of them. My celeb blog addiction knows no bounds, and I definitely get caught up in the judgment madness.) That just seems a little hypocritical to me. Like it’s okay to rag on thin people, but not fat people. And that’s not going to make anything better. It’s not going to make our culture more size accepting. It’s just making more women feel bad about how they look, just a different demographic this time. Like this post at Knitting Kninja – it’s not fair that she should have to defend herself for being thin. It’s not fair that I should have to defend myself for being fat. Why, why, why can’t we just leave each other alone? Why can’t we be more like this?
Filed under: blogosphere, fat
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I agree 200% (pretend that is mathematically feasible) with this post. I used to always watch an ex’s baseball games on Friday nights, and on the way there, I would pick up a burger for dinner. One time I *gasp* brought a salad instead… and pretty much got torn to shreds for the audacity of being a relatively thin person and eating healthy once in a while.
Let me just say yes. Right on. We need to keep our mouths shut more often – I think we’ve all done this to other women, and to ourselves, too much, and most of us have probably been on the receiving end, too.
I can relate to Princess Pointful because I went through something similar when I decided to be vegan. When I started, I got SO much flack for it. Fast forward almost 4 years later and I still get it from some friemds because every time there’s cake or some other dairy laden dessert, I get a “Tara, you are really missing out.” I manage to ignore this, chiefly because I am the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life right now It does make me mad because I respect my friends’ food choices but often I am left to feel that this respect isn’t returned. We need to back off of one another because no two bodies are the same. We’re indiviuals, not the borg.
Women’s bodies have become public domain. There’s this impossible standard out there, and if we don’t meet it, the world wants us to dedicate all our energy into trying to meet it or apologizing for not being perfect enough. You know, like, be fat if you have to, but at least have the manners to apologize for yourself.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: women who feel bad about themselves are excellent consumers. I can’t believe that’s not at least a small part of it.
[...] quite an interesting discussion about it going on at Big Fat Deal. In one of many responses, Superblondgirl pointed out that “too thin” has its critics too. Does that make anorexia/bulimia a feminist [...]
“women who feel bad about themselves are excellent consumers. I can’t believe that’s not at least a small part of it.”
Yup! Hence why I ignore the commercials for Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig. I won’t even go into the ads for those fat burner pills.
goodwithcheese said: …trying to meet it or apologizing for not being perfect enough.
I agree, but it also seems like people who are considered “perfect” by others for whatever reason (be it weight, brains, whatever) also are made to apologize for it because they get ridiculed by others. Why should someone who is healthy, fit, feeling and looking good apologize to others who (maybe) aren’t?
Like Tara – I am not vegan but don’t eat red meat and prefer vegetarian meals (especially on planes!) People always assume I do it to be thin, but the truth is that I hate the taste of red meat, I hate how I feel after I eat it, and part of me hates that an innocent animal gave it’s life so that I could eat it. Do I really need to explain this over and over again, in defense of my food choice?