Cable- I has it!

I am becoming one of those people who schedules her life around her TV shows.  I mean, it started off innocently, because how can you not be watching I Love Money?  Wait… you’re not?  Go, go watch it now.  It’s the ultimate culmination of all reality TV.  Seriously.  There’s no pretend “oh, I’m in love” bullshit - they are there for money and 15 minutes of fame and to show off their taut, interchangeable bodies (seriously, if you can tell the 5 blond chicks or the 5 beefy white dudes apart, you win a prize.  E and I are always confused and spend forever discussing which one that actually was who just did/said that thing that was hilarious)  There are hats – maybe not Flavor of Love horned hats, but lots of hats!  And also ridiculous nonsensical competitions and lots of Intrigue! and Deception! and the word “Alliance”!  And they are all really not very smart, so it’s even more hilarious.  Oh, god, I wish it was on RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, so E and I watch I Love Money every Sunday evening at 9:00 and then discuss I Love Money and its awesomeness for a while, and are sure to be home for it to come on.  We have even kicked people out of the house because “Our show?  It comes on at 9:00.  You have to leave now.”  But then, I realized (this is where you once again see my total blondeness coming out, and yes, it is real blonde, this proves it) that Project Runway, which I love, is on TV and since I have a TV, and it has cable on it, I can watch Project Runway!  It was like a brick fell from the sky and hit me on the head – I was sitting here feeling sad that I can’t watch Project Runway, and then I realized that I could!  Because the TV?  It has Project Runway ON IT!  So now on Wednesdays at 9:00 I need to be home. 

Only this week, we have a “band night” at work, because when you work in the music industry, everyone is in a band or wants to be in a band or used to be in a band or with the band.  Or else, like me, you think “cocktail hour?  free dinner?  FISH?  I am so there!”.  Either way, band night is on Wednesday, and that causes a dilemma, because I want free drinks with the fishes, but I also need to watch my show (go back and read that with a sort of old person voice, because that is how I just typed it).  I told E that I had to make sure I left band night at 8:30 so as not to miss Project Runway, because I need to hear Suede refer to himself in the third person (I totally think he’s going to win because he is gay-ish and has a shtick, and those are the dudes who always win.  Plus he’s really, really good, though the 50s chick whose name I forget is my favorite) and he told me that I am dork and that they re-run it all the time.  But what if I can’t figure out when the reruns are?  Or if they’re all on while I’m at work?  I mean, I could stay home from work, but that would show a serious problem, calling in sick to watch a TV show.  Then there would have to be an intervention.  I think I just have to leave band night early, unless I am too drunk to drive, in which case I am using that as an excuse to jump in the sea lion tank, or maybe the beluga tank.  Because I want to kiss one of those suckers.